Responding over Reacting

Responding over Reacting When we feel upset or triggered, it’s very easy for us to just instantly react. We might snap, we might yell, we might hang up the phone. Sometimes we might say things in the moment that we would later regret. Sometimes the situation can get escalated so fast that we don’t evenContinue reading “Responding over Reacting”

Is your autopilot mode ON?

Is your autopilot mode ON? When we are on autopilot, we allow ourselves to go through each day as a passenger. We might recognize some unhealthy patterns in our relationship, but for some reason, these patterns just keep repeating themselves. When we are on autopilot, it might look like this: Not paying attention to ourContinue reading “Is your autopilot mode ON?”

4 tips for a better conversation

4 tips for a better conversation How we talk to our partner is very important, especially when tension is high. While it might feel good in the moment to just blurt out our thoughts, we are only having a solo conversation if we are not able to talk effectively with our partner. Here are fourContinue reading “4 tips for a better conversation”

Choosing to be together

Choosing to be together “The strongest relationships are between two people who can live without each other but don’t want to” – Harriet Lerner “Don’t want to” are very powerful words. It means that we have a choice. We CHOOSE to be in a relationship, not because we NEED to be in one. As longContinue reading “Choosing to be together”

We don’t need to be the same to be close

We don’t need to be the same to be close When we think of being close to our partner, we often associate it with having a lot of things in common with each other. Maybe it’s having the same interests, seeing things in the same perspective or striving for the same goals. The assumption isContinue reading “We don’t need to be the same to be close”

Will I choose to forgive?

Will I choose to forgive? The topic of forgiveness came up in a recent marriage workshop that I’ve been attending and I really like the way they described forgiveness. Oftentimes, when it comes to dealing with unresolved hurt, we say, “But I just can’t forgive them”. But the truth is, it’s not so much aboutContinue reading “Will I choose to forgive?”

There are no quick fixes to relationship issues

There are no quick fixes to relationship issues I recently came across a BBC article that talks about the myth of boosting our immune systems and how there are no scientifically proven ways to do so through a superfood or pill. In there, it says “People prefer easy, quick solutions but health depends on veryContinue reading “There are no quick fixes to relationship issues”

How much of a “self” do you have in a relationship?

How much of a “self” do you have in a relationship? Do you ever wonder why it is so easy for some people to lose themselves when they are in an intimate relationship? On the other hand, why do some people cutoff from everyone who they have conflicts with? I think Murray Bowen’s concept ofContinue reading “How much of a “self” do you have in a relationship?”

What do differences mean in a relationship?

What do differences mean in a relationship? The wife turns to her husband and says, “Look how pretty these trees are!” The husband replies, “Really?” The wife gets upset and says, “How come you never agree with what I say?!” And the argument begins… Does this dialogue sound familiar to you at all? While itContinue reading “What do differences mean in a relationship?”

How does marriage change your relationship?

How does marriage change your relationship? “Marriage is overrated.” This is something that I’ve heard more and more in recent years. Why do we need to sign a paper when we are already in a committed relationship? What difference does it make? I attended the Bowen Centre’s Dating & Mating conference last month and reallyContinue reading “How does marriage change your relationship?”