There are no quick fixes to relationship issues

I recently came across a BBC article that talks about the myth of boosting our immune systems and how there are no scientifically proven ways to do so through a superfood or pill.

In there, it says “People prefer easy, quick solutions but health depends on very boring things that people don’t want to hear. Exercise, a balanced diet and reduced stress. We all know these are good for us but we don’t want to do it.”

Well, I think this same idea applies to relationships as well. There are no quick fix approaches to relationship issues. Saying more “I love you” or going on more date nights might help in the short-term, but when tension gets high, those unhealthy patterns in our relationship will predictably come back again.

To truly improve relationships, it takes more than just being nicer to each other or spending more time together. It requires a shift in our focus and turning our energy inward. This means managing our own reactivity instead of trying to change the other person. This means becoming a more solid self by getting clearer on our own values, beliefs and life goals that are separate from our partners’. This means having the motivation and dedication to work on ourselves even when faced with obstacles.

When we can become healthier as an individual, so will our relationship.

It’s a slow and perhaps “boring” journey but this is what it takes to give us lasting results.