Will I choose to forgive?

The topic of forgiveness came up in a recent marriage workshop that I’ve been attending and I really like the way they described forgiveness.

Oftentimes, when it comes to dealing with unresolved hurt, we say, “But I just can’t forgive them”. But the truth is, it’s not so much about if we are able to, it’s about how much we want to. There is so much power in recognizing that we have the ability to make a choice.

Forgiveness is a process. It might not come quickly and it’s most likely not going to be easy. What that means is every time the feeling of hurt shows up, we choose to let it go. We will probably need to repeatedly make that same choice for that same hurt for some time before our feeling about the other person will start to change.

We act based on our thinking, not our feelings. We choose to sit with the discomfort first and trust that it will eventually go away.

How are you thinking about forgiveness in a relationship? Is there one thing that you find it hard to forgive and can you choose to forgive?