How does marriage change your relationship?

“Marriage is overrated.” This is something that I’ve heard more and more in recent years. Why do we need to sign a paper when we are already in a committed relationship? What difference does it make?

I attended the Bowen Centre’s Dating & Mating conference last month and really loved the presentation by Edward Henley. Perhaps his ideas can give us another way of thinking about this.

Prior to having a public announcement of commitment, family members and maybe especially extended family tend to pull back. Since they are not sure how committed the couple is about their relationship, they wouldn’t want to fully commit to it either. However, as soon as the couple decides to get married, it instantly brings the two families together. What happens next is that it creates shifts and changes within those two families.

Personally, I’m not for or against marriage, but I do think that marriage does create a difference.

Marriage is a nodal point of a relationship, because while it might not directly change the way the two of you relate to each other, it often does change the way you relate to your two families. It also changes the way they relate to each of you. There might be new expectations within the family now that you have a new title. You might have a different way of thinking about those relationships as well. And because of these changes, it ultimately does change your relationship.

For those who are already married, how do you think the union of the two of you has changed the dynamic within your two families? Share your thoughts down below!