Therapy on a good day

Most couples seek therapy when things feel unmanageable in their relationship. This is typically when our survival mode is turned on and all we want is to keep our heads above the water. We want to get instant comfort and support for our situation. This is also the time when we usually experience the most intense emotions but have the least ability to think clearly.

On the other hand, when things become calmer and the relationship starts to feel “normal” again, this is when we would usually lose the motivation to go for therapy. We don’t feel there is a need to talk about it anymore because everything is back to “normal”. However, in my opinion, this is actually the best time to talk about it.

On calmer days, we are able to look past our immediate needs. We are able to better hear what our partner has to say. We are able to think more clearly and factually for ourselves.

Repeated patterns and issues in our relationship don’t just go away. When things feel calm, it just means that nothing has been triggered….yet. Unless we start to make concrete changes, the next wave of conflicts will be here before we know it.

Therapy on a good day gives us a better chance of breaking the repeated cycle in our relationship because we are not overwhelmed by our own emotions.