Should I give an ultimatum for marriage?

Should I give an ultimatum for marriage?

Giving a marriage ultimatum means that there is a perceived disagreement. Just like any other disagreements in a relationship, what is the best way to approach it?

  1. Before considering an ultimatum, you need to first ask yourself WHY you want to get married and WHY it’s so important to you that it needs to happen now. You don’t need to feel embarrassed or ashamed for wanting to get married or having to ask for it, but you do need to take a step back and understand your own reasons.

    Do you want to get married because everyone else around you are getting married? Do you feel insecure about your relationship and you feel moving forward is the only way to secure it? What does it mean for you to get married by 25, by 30 or by 38? What does this timeline mean to you? Or do you truly believe that your relationship has a solid foundation and is ready for the next stage? You need to fully understand your own reasons before you can have an effective conversation with your partner.

  2. Now, do you have a clear understanding of what your partner wants? What is causing their hesitation? Is it because they don’t believe in marriage or they just need more time to figure out their life? Those are two very different conversations to have and giving each other the opportunity to share the most vulnerable thoughts is important. Presenting an ultimatum does not mean that it has to be an outright rigid demand. The discussion of marriage should be a fluid two-way conversation.

  3. Lastly, what are you planning to do if you don’t end up getting what you want? You have a right to express how you feel, what you think and what you want to your partner, but you can never control how they will choose to react or respond. Are you truly prepared to leave the relationship if the ultimatum fails? It’s important to prepare yourself what you would or would not do.

At the end of the day, getting married will not change or improve anything if the two of you are not on the same page to begin with. There’s no right or wrong to giving an ultimatum, but it should be a thoughtful decision and not an impulsive reaction to your situation.

Until next time!

Couples On The Road


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