Is getting cold feet normal?

Is getting cold feet normal?

Second guessing our own decision, especially the big ones like “SHOULD WE GET MARIRED?!” is not uncommon.

The unknown can be scary. And all the what-if questions can start popping up in our heads…

“What if we make the wrong decision?”
“What if I’m not going to be a good husband/wife?”
“What if our marriage fails?”

These questions can become so overwhelming that they make us stall.

But the more we can work through our thoughts and feelings from the very beginning, the less likely we would experience cold feet at the very last minute (hopefully not when we are about to walk down the aisle!).

If you are feeling a bit hesitant, try the following…

  1. Get to know your fears. What is it that’s giving you this feeling of hesitation? The more you ignore it, the more it will just grow inside of you. Go beyond your feelings and start exploring your own thoughts.
  2. When do you feel more doubtful? Do you always have this feeling even before you were engaged? Or do you feel more when you are stressed out? Learning when these feelings get intensified can give you more insights into why you might be feeling the way you do.
  3. Distinguish between realistic fears and imagined fears. Experiencing cold feet doesn’t necessarily mean there’s something wrong with your relationship; it just means your heart is telling you that there’s something you need to work through, whether it’s with your partner or with yourself. Are you feeling doubtful about your partner, your relationship, yourself or marriage in general?
  4. Share it with your partner. As hard as it is, it’s important to be genuine and honest with each other before going into marriage. While it might disappoint them, it’s worse when they feel blindsided. Sometimes, opening up the conversation might be exactly what you need to eliminate your fears.

At the end of the day, you want to feel confident about your big life decision. If something doesn’t feel right, there will often be signs. Don’t wait till the very last minute to work things out. Take the time to listen to yourself.

Until next time!

Couples On The Road


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