What gets you triggered?

What gets you triggered?

In any given relationship, there are 4 areas that we are naturally sensitive to as human beings. These are the four forces of sensitivity:

  • Attention
  • Approval
  • Distress
  • Expectations

Of these four, we tend to be particularly sensitive to one of them. That means when we experience it (or lack thereof) in our relationship, we are more likely to feel bothered by it.

For example, what do you do when your partner doesn’t reply to your calls and texts? (ATTENTION)

What do you do when they don’t think you should be hanging out with your friend? (APPROVAL)

What do you do when they don’t sound too happy that you are coming home late? (DISTRESS)

What do you do when they don’t clean up the house like they have promised? (EXPECTATIONS)

Bowen Theory Four Forces of Sensitivity

Learning about our own sensitivity can help us better understand why conflicts might arise in the first place and why we might react in a certain way.

Thinking about your own relationship, what gets you triggered the most? What gets your partner triggered the most? Share it with each other!

Until next time!

Couples On The Road


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